Greater than Oz

I need a miracle

We all need miracles

I try to relate

but the sight of my faith

has them running

how long have I been gunning

to be your friend

crystal caves made out of sadness

come on in

we are beautiful from the outside

no one knowing our internal ruin

watch your words

watch your step

no means no

yes means yes

how long do I have to play this mental game of chess

two sides to every coin

two faces

joined up within me

who will show up today

the aces

or the spade of three

eradicate, eradicate

destroy, make noise

rebuild, procreate

create an army

made of boys

my soul is lit

like a candle

my moments dissipate into the universe

instead of staying on the mantle

I want to be okay

but that's not in the cards for me

the mundane is dark

the light I seek

peek through the curtain

greater than Oz I see

greater than Oz I see

Fresh

Start over

f r e s h

like a white bird in the sky

nothing can hold me down,

I am a swan

nothing can hold me back, 

I am my own wand

I will make magic happen

It will be plain to see

I am living my destiny

right now? holy cow,

I can't breathe

Yes,

you can

you can see

See yourself for who you really are

and be

f r e e

Chained

Chained, twelve feet deep

all I can see is me

trapped in the water, struggling

I just want to be free

Face the sun

I'm on the shore

Whatever you say to me won't come through

I'm starting to realize,

I'm losing you

We felt we were fenced in

though we knew the lock

always in mesmerization

though we knew the block

I can't find you, it's 7am

Where'd you kick off to?

Worries spread like protozoa

they bred and spread so fast

like animals with Noah

Don't say the same of cancer cells

We invited Them to kill us

Some Kind of Heaven

I’m writing this so that someone will listen

I’m writing this so that all the doors will close and the majesty will be released

I want to believe in a God for everyone

I want to believe that all of the fears will be set free

I want to believe that time is a capsule full of faces and triumphs and needs

I want to believe that we are safe

That we are sane

That everything has meaning no matter one’s belief

I want to believe that I am good inside no matter what or if I pray

I want to believe that our breath is worship

I want to believe that we are safe.

My body is crouched inside a barrel

The barrel is winding and sifting the sea

The sea closes in on my surroundings and I can’t breathe

I wonder where the light is

I want the stars to see

I want it all to connect like the anemone

A lightning bolt strikes and my body is imploded with bolts

There is nothing to know now

No shifts of fear, no anxiety jolts

Freedom without a shell in the vast beauty of the sea

My soul is handled with care, and I am loved

I am known and forgiven

I am me

Let it be our anthem that we sing

Let us crack open the barrels with our human electricity

Let us know a God of love

Of stars and sea anemones

Let us know that we are one

We are no longer broken because we now lack that capacity

Let our souls cry out hallelujah when we have found unity

We have found peace

We are one

We are free

Dear Cigarettes

Dear Cigarettes,
You have been my friend for ten years now.
You make me feel better, calm my depression, anxiety and stress and give me something to do.
You have also been slowly killing me, wasting my money, ruining my voice and polluting the planet. I want to part ways for good.
I know that you will always be available for a small price, but the price I pay is greater than $7.
I want to learn to live without you and say no to you when you beckon and call,
when you try to seduce me through other people, friends, the media and even my own thoughts. Instead of a reward, you are a punishment to my skin, my lungs, my teeth, my hair, my throat and my voice.
You keep me from being healthy by exercising, breathing deeply and doing yoga.
I am determined to live without you.
I am determined to overcome my addiction to you once and for all.
So, leave me alone.
If you call, I will not answer. I am saying no to cancer from now on.
Goodbye cigarettes,
forever.

Sincerely,

 Cali

PLANS

We are on a collective journey

never completely knowing where to put our shoes

Life is sort of like an airplane

except we cannot choose

where we will end up on our journey

on a beach near the ocean

or on a gurney

our impermanence creates peace

in a world where we don't know what to do with our feet

Hello, Art. 

It's time we get to know each other again.